January 4, 1999 my Dad passed away. His death was sudden and completely unexpected.
I can remember every single detail of that day...like it was yesterday.
Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday... sometimes it feels like forever.
I miss him.
Time has healed the sting of losing him, but the pain and longing in my heart at times feels almost suffocating.
I know that nothing can take away the Love my heart holds for him or the Memories that linger every day. Remembrance will ALWAYS keep him near.
***
So today I will remember...
(and be forever grateful for)
Sitting on his lap on my 16th Birthday.
The pride and love I felt as he walked me down the aisle to marry a man he loved and respected. (And according to my Dad had to pay "a hell of a lot of money" to marry me.)
His pure joy and happiness that I was finally "knocked up."
Him handing out presents on Christmas morning.
And his smile and his laugh!
But the most bittersweet of all of my memories
is what an AMAZING and PROUD Grandpa he was.
I wish for just one more day with him. One day so that Addasyn and Gracie could fall asleep on Grandpa's belly.
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Walk Toward the Light
Come home my son, the Master said,
As we visited not long ago.
I struggled within to answer my Lord,
Oh, how I wanted to tell Him "No!"
I'll go where you want me to go Dear Lord,
Try to do what it is that you've asked.
But tell me, is there another course,
To lighten the weight of this task?
His eyes were understanding.
Then I remembered His own bitter cup,
He too had asked for a lighter load,
But for me He had taken it up.
My heart was in a tug-of-war with the Lord
But through the anguish of my plight,
I knew the Lord was on my side,
And I must walk toward the light!
What should I say to my loved ones? I asked
To help them understand and know,
That you have called me home,
And I must obey your command and go.
My Master smiled and with a gentle tone,
Said "I too left a message of love,
These word will help them understand,
As you leave for your mansion above.
Tell them to have faith and trust in Me,
Even though they've prayed hard as they can.
For a miracle that didn't happen,
Exactly the way that they planned.
Sometimes the answers aren't perfectly clear,
For each of us to see,
The purpose may lie hidden,
But there's reasons for the way things must be."
We have no right when sorrow comes,
To ask the Lord, "Why me?"
Unless, of course, we ask the same,
for every joy we see!
Tell them to let not their sorrows,
Make them useless and render them blind,
But to always walk towards the light,
And let life's shadows fall behind.
"Come home," My Master said again,
In the quiet stillness of the night,
"Which way Dear Lord?" I asked
He whispered, "Walk towards the light."
